:: M squared T ::

:: Thursday, July 31, 2003 ::

The Mootrix

Check this out!

Linked through Steve

:: Matt 7/31/2003 08:24:00 PM :: permalink :: comments (0) ::
...

Behind the Scenes When Matt's On Call?



We've been joking about this at work for weeks... here it is!

:: Matt 7/31/2003 05:39:00 PM :: permalink :: comments (0) ::
...

The Bourne Identity

I just finished re-reading The Bourne Identity by Robert Ludlum. I read it sometime during High School, but I decided to re-read it after I saw the movie. The movie was awesome (especially the Mini-chase scene in Paris and the fall down the stairs). The book is also awesome. However, they are two different stories. Really, they are.

I highly recommend reading Ludlum's book. Those who have seen the movie will be surprised at where the story goes by the end.

:: Matt 7/29/2003 10:38:00 PM :: permalink :: comments (0) ::
...

The Adventure of Being On Call

Being "On Call" is perhaps a good microcosm of life in general. We have our cycles of life - certain things we expect, certain things we do with regularity. Then, out of nowhere, something unexpected hits us - surprises us - showing us the vulnerability of our position.

We never know whom we might meet. We never know what's going to happen to us. We expect that if we watch our weight, avoid risky behaviours, love our families, and keep up a strong personal piety that nothing will happen to us.

There are no guarantees.

Yet throughout it all God is still at work. God is perpetually present - right with us. I believe that more now than I ever did.

Come quickly, Lord Jesus, come quickly.

"Finish, then, thy new creation, pure and spotless let us be; let us see thy great salvation perfectly restored in thee. Changed from glory into glory, 'til in heaven we take our place, 'til we cast our crowns before thee, lost in wonder, love and praise." (Charles Wesley)

:: Matt 7/26/2003 09:36:00 PM :: permalink :: comments (0) ::
...

Over-Run?

I cut my evening run short tonight. Yesterday I went most of four miles around town, and about three the day before. Today, I was so sore and stiff that I cut it short after about 20 minutes. Maybe I shouldn't try to go three days in a row with such long distance.

The side benefit was where I stopped. I stopped in the cemetery in the middle of the University campus. There's a GAR (Grand Army of the Republic) plot there. My great-great-great grandfather's buried there somewhere. Probably in one of the spots with the illegible tombstones. I couldn't find his spot.

He fought in the American Civil War in the Illinois Volunteer Infantry. He was in Sherman's army on the March to the Sea. His memoirs (in the Rare Book Room at the U of I library) tell a very colorful tale of his life from the mid-1840s to the end of the war in 1865. Maybe someday I'll find his grave site.

I won't get to run until after the weekend - I've got my little friend, the pager, all weekend once again.

:: Matt 7/24/2003 09:51:00 PM :: permalink :: comments (0) ::
...

He Descended Into Hell

Until recently, I never liked that line in the Apostles' Creed. I didn't like the idea of Jesus being in Hell. Theologically, I had a problem with it.

These days, however, that line has given me hope. Whatever it is that we're going through - disgusting crap though it may be, he is there.

And that is enough.

:: Matt 7/23/2003 10:23:00 PM :: permalink :: comments (0) ::
...

Xtreme Team 2003 to Carle Hospital

This summer has been crazy for me. I have been under a high amount of stress throughout the CPE experience.

CPE is not a controllable experience; you never know what will happen next.

Just today I realized that I have a paradigm for dealing with CPE that could relieve most of the stress. I will apply the Xtreme Team model to CPE.

How is CPE like the Xtreme Team?

- Different Language: No, it's not Latvian (or Lithuanian, Russian, Estonian, Finnish or Swedish). But a quote from a meeting I was at shows that it is: "She's a 85 yr. old who came in with an acute MI. Had a cabbage times 4 about 10 years back. Right now she's recovering from a PE but looks like she might be borderline for CHF. She'll be DC'd in the next 48 to 72."

Yeah, it's English. But... yeah...

- You Never Know What's Next: On the Xtreme Team, we were told not to worry about what was going to happen next. They weren't going to tell us, and when they told us, it would be in the form of a clue we had to solve. So I set my mind not to worry about what would happen. I would just do whatever I was doing until the next round came along. And after the initial stress of culture shock, it worked well. I actually almost became too passive.

This summer, in the hospital, somehow I expected a little more control. I didn't embrace the mystery of the whole thing and the randomness of it all. From here on out, I hope to look at every day as an adventure. I won't assume I know what's going on any more.

- Self-Examination: During the Xtreme Team, we journaled our experiences and had meeting times where we discussed what had taken place during the day. We do the same thing in CPE. It's called "group" and we use "verbatims" to work it out.

- Learning Creative, New Ways of Dealing With New Situations: The Xtreme Team was always presenting us with new situations we had to work through. We often had to be creative in how we solved problems and approached people. Sometime maybe I'll tell the story about the playground with the mis-cut lumber.

This summer, at the hospital, I have not been looking creatively. I've been locked in the mode of "this is what a chaplain does" and I rarely look outside the box to see the rest of life. That's going to change.

- Travel At Strange Times: The Xtreme Team gave us all sorts of crazy travel adventures. Leaving a small town 6 Km from the Russian border at 2:30 in the morning to take a bus back to Riga was only one of the various modes of transportation we took at strange times.

And this summer I get paged when I'm on call, and I whine about it. At least I know where I'm going and how long it takes to get there and I have a reliable automobile!

Therefore I, M Squared T, (being of somewhat sound mind and body) declare CPE this summer to be the Xtreme Team 2003 to Carle Hospital! Hopefully, that will make the process an adventure instead of drudgery.

:: Matt 7/22/2003 09:23:00 PM :: permalink :: comments (0) ::
...

CPE's good for something after all...

[Note: CPE is the chaplaincy internship I'm involved in at the hospital here. It's supposed to be an intense learning experience. Intense? Yeah, crazy is more like it!]

There's something a bit daunting about entering a patient's room sometimes. At least that was the way it was for me the first few days of CPE. All the "what ifs" start coming up... all the social phobia stuff.

The first few visits I made I was a nervous wreak. Now I might still be daunted at times, especially by people diagnosed as "confused," but I'm a lot less nervous to just jump in and visit.

Overcoming this social fear has been a great leap forward for me. I have gained the confidence to go up to new people with a lot less fear. This has lowered my general anxiety level, I believe. (This is not to say I don't find other things to be anxious about.) But it has helped me meet my neighbors, whom I have been wanting to meet. And I've discovered that it's thrilling to do so. I'm meeting some really interesting people. As I meet people I can learn how to serve them in the name of Christ. And that will be even more thrilling!

:: Matt 7/11/2003 11:13:00 PM :: permalink :: comments (0) ::
...

July 4th

Happy 227th birthday to the United States of America!!!

II Peter 3:18 - "Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen."

:: Matt 7/04/2003 01:20:00 AM :: permalink :: comments (0) ::
...

Reflections on A Year Ago

Throughout the day, whenever my mind has wandered, I've missed Latvia.

Actually, a year ago today, we were still at Judson College in Elgin, IL, receiving training for what we were going to do.

The trip was set up so that none of the participants knew what was going to happen next - in fact, we were given cryptic clues that we had to solve before we could do whatever the activity was.

Thus, the trip began with me driving to O'Hare International Airport. I received a call the night before (just as I was headed out to celebrate the "last night" with friends) to pick up four people (and all their gear) from the airport. I was to put all of this in my '89 Buick Century. Thankfully, one person's flight was horribly delayed, and I only had three other people to squeeze into the car.

But finding them was tricky. I thought I heard to pick them up at the Arrivals loop. They were waiting at Baggage Claim, in the terminal. All I knew was that they would have large, bright yellow duffel bags with "Xtreme Team" written on them, to match mine. Eventually I went inside and found them.

The most distinct memory of the drive to Elgin was when we pulled through the Toll Plaza west of the Des Plaines Oasis. The girl in the front seat screamed, "There's no lane lines!!! We're going to crash!!!" My cross-cultural experience had begun. Toll plazas are "normal" for people who drive in the Chicago area. Nobody worries about the lack of lane lines at toll plazas. I realized how much others might react negatively to what I thought was "normal."

"Normal" is a loaded term, especially in a cross-cultural setting. "Normal" is often "arbitrary." But since "normal" is also "commonly accepted," it makes sense. I often choose to challenge "normal." But I need "normal" just as much as the next guy.

:: Matt 7/02/2003 07:47:00 PM :: permalink :: comments (0) ::
...

Xtreme Team

A year ago today I left the safety of my apartment in the Chicago suburbs to be a part of the Xtreme Team 2002 to Latvia. It was an amazing time. If you're lucky, you might get to hear about it, a year after the fact - through this site, or personally.

This year, the Xtreme Teams are going from the US to Japan and Ghana, and from South Africa to the US. Check it out!!!

:: Matt 7/01/2003 10:50:00 PM :: permalink :: comments (0) ::
...

Jogger Blogger

Andrew Careaga has placed a request for a "jogger blogger" to be used while running. I think it's a great idea. I have discovered that an increased running regimen has caused a proportionate decrease in my blogging this summer (besides the fact that the hospital keeps me really freaking busy. But I suggested the following to Andrew:

This might be a bit too much of Rube Goldberg, but here's a stab at it:

1. Get one of those hands-free headsets (like for a cell phone).

2. Rig the hands-free headset up to a lecture recorder (digital is preferable). A soldering iron may be necessary to make sure the attachment is firm.

3. Wear the headset and carry the recorder like you would a portable radio.

4. Upon returning to the office, upload the "post" to an audioblogger link.

Please note: you might have to edit out the huffing and puffing in between words and sentences.

This is an "open-source" jogger-blogger... what could we add/change to make this work? Wireless Internet port?

:: Matt 7/01/2003 10:08:00 PM :: permalink :: comments (0) ::
...

Solidarity with Christian Brothers & Sisters

Five churches in Kenya were burned by Muslims last week. Kenyan Muslims, a small minority in the country (6 per cent) are becoming more firm in their demands for Shariah law, according to several news agencies.

My heart goes out to my Christian brothers and sisters in Kenya whose faith is being attacked. I feel helpless when I read news from around the world where Christians are being oppressed and attacked. I am cynical toward the "write your congressman" technique of government lobbying. The only things I know to do are to pray, first of all, and to make as public as I am able the fact that this is going on.

Pray for our sisters and brothers in Kenya!

The following links may be of interest:

http://allafrica.com/stories/200306200072.html
http://allafrica.com/stories/200306240631.html
http://www.ipsnews.net/interna.asp?idnews=18853
http://www.eastandard.net/headlines/news30062003011.htm


:: Matt 7/01/2003 08:10:00 PM :: permalink :: comments (0) ::
...